ruby imagines

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Walking off the field

It's all so different from what I had imagined on earth. This is Heaven. Home... finally. No more waiting. I'm here. So beautiful. So divine. Where's Jesus?

"Ruby."

"Jesus!"

"Whoa. Don't knock me over."

"I could never do that. I'm just so excited to see you. To really see you."

"Here let me wipe your tears. From ecstasy to weeping. Oh girl."

"Am I really here, Lord? Tell me it's really you. I'm not dreaming am I?"

"No, child, you're not dreaming. Come, Ruby, let's go for a walk."

"A walk. But what about the judgment, the throne of God... and all that stuff."

"You're here to see me, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then let's go for a walk. I have so many things to show you."

"Like what? My mansion on a hilltop, the cattle on a thousand hills, streets of gold..."

"Ruby, just slow down a little. Here's the river, let's sit down on it's flowery banks. Here's a nice grassy strip. We need to talk."

"Oh, I've been waiting for so long to talk to you face to face. I know we've talked through prayer, but it's just not the same thing."

"I know. Here... Let me hold you, Ruby... just relax. You're safe here. Nothing will ever harm you again...I love you and I want you to know that I'm happy you're with me."

"Why do I feel a but coming?"

"Ruby, I want to ask you a question now."

"Okay...I think"

"Why did you give up?"

"I..."

"Look at me, child. You're crying again."

"Are you mad at me, Lord?"

"No. I'm not. But you have to know I'm not the only one in the picture... and neither are you."

"I don't understand."

"You can't see what I"m seeing this very moment. You're here with me now. Your time on earth is over. That was your choosing, not mine."

"But, I couldn't anymore... I couldn't... I couldn't..."

"I know what it was like for you. I know your illness pushed you over the edge. But you still had a choice in the end."

"I wanted to see you. I knew if I was here you would make it all better. One more day was just too unbearable. Lord... forgive me, please."

"Oh child, I already did... At the cross. Remember? But it's not me that's sad right now. Do you know what day it is on earth?"

"I don't know."

"On earth, your family and friends are having your funeral."

"Oh."

"Tell me, Ruby. Give me some names. Who's crying today?"

"Well... probably Mom."

"Who else?"

"Maybe my sister, my friend Donnell, Pastor Marie.."

"Just four. That's all you could think of?"

"I don't know. It's hard to say."

"Is it? You would be surprised to know who's shedding a tear in the back seat of the church as we speak."

"What's her name?"

"It's a him, not a her."

"Him?"

"He's thinking right now that you were the only real friend he had. The only one he really trusted."

"Is it...?"

"It is. You were so close to leading him to me. And then he got scared. But it wasn't you he was scared of. He was scared of me. But you thought you were the one that drove him away."

"He hasn't talked to me for over two years..."

"That wasn't your fault, Ruby."

"Nothing was the same since ... I just wanted to come home."

"It wasn't up to you. That was supposed to be my decision and you took it from me."

"You are angry with me."

"No, I already said I wasn't. But I want you to see that your life held so much more than what you thought it did. You cut yourself short and now you are in paradise and the work you could have done for me I now have to delegate to someone else. I so wanted you to be the one. I chose you. I know life was painful at the best of times, but nothing is unbearable with my strength to pull you though. Child, I love you. I told you that in the end, but you didn't hear me... until now."

"Is he going to be alright?"

"You'll have to wait. His game is not over. I'll do what I can but my favourite player just walked off the field. It's not the same anymore."

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